Domestic Abuse Emergency Leaving Checklist

Leaving is the most dangerous point in an abusive relationship, and planning matters more here than anywhere else. Practical preparation — documents gathered quietly, a bag somewhere safe, a phone that cannot be tracked, someone who knows the plan — makes the difference between a safe departure and a crisis. Support is available at any hour, and you do not have to be certain before you call. This checklist covers what to take, who to contact, and what to do in the first 72 hours.

Before you go, and in the first hours after

If you are in immediate danger, call 999. If you cannot speak, dial 999 then press 55 when prompted and the call will be treated as a silent emergency call. The 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 is free, confidential and does not appear on itemised phone bills.

Preparation should be invisible. Gather what you can over time rather than in one obvious sweep: identity documents, bank cards, prescriptions, keys, and anything irreplaceable. Photograph documents you cannot take and store the images somewhere the other person cannot access. Leave a bag with someone you trust rather than in the house.

  • Digital safety: check for location sharing on phones, tablets, cars and shared accounts, and change passwords from a device the other person has never used.
  • Somewhere to go: a refuge, a trusted person, or the council. Councils owe duties to people homeless through domestic abuse, and you do not have to have left first to approach them.
  • Support: ask for an independent domestic violence adviser. They are free, independent of the police, and will help you through everything that follows.

What you cannot take now can often be recovered later with support, including through a police-escorted collection. Your safety comes before your possessions.

Before you leave — plan in advance

0 of 7 complete

What to take if you can

0 of 9 complete

On the day you leave

0 of 6 complete

First 72 hours after leaving

0 of 8 complete

Within 30 days

0 of 6 complete

Helpful organisations

Refuge

Charity

The charity running the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline and refuge accommodation for women and children.

Visit website0808 2000 247

Citizens Advice

Charity

Provides free, confidential, and independent advice on a wide range of issues including benefits, housing, debt, and employment.

Visit website0800 144 8848

Frequently asked questions

Where can I go if I have nowhere to stay tonight?
The National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 operates 24 hours and can find a refuge place, often in a different area for safety. You can also approach the council as homeless — councils owe duties to people who are homeless because of domestic abuse, and you should not be told to return home. If you are in danger now, the police can help you get somewhere safe immediately. You do not need to have left permanently to ask for help.
What legal protection can I get, and how quickly?
Protective orders can be applied for urgently, sometimes within a day, and in genuine emergencies without notifying the other person first. They can prohibit contact and approach, and can require someone to leave a shared home. A solicitor with domestic abuse experience, a law centre or an independent domestic violence adviser can help you apply, and legal aid remains available for these applications where the evidence requirements are met.
What about my children?
You do not need the other parent's permission to take your children with you when you leave for safety reasons, and doing so does not prejudice you in any later proceedings. Tell the school or nursery who is authorised to collect them and ask them to keep your new address confidential. Family court proceedings about arrangements can address safety, including supervised or indirect contact. Take advice early rather than agreeing arrangements under pressure.
How do I keep my new address private?
Ask every organisation you notify to record your address as confidential. Register for anonymous electoral registration so it does not appear on the open register. Use a trusted friend's address or a support service for post where you can. Review social media privacy settings and turn off location tagging in photographs. An independent domestic violence adviser can help you work through the full list, including benefits, schools and healthcare records.

Related guides

Domestic Abuse Legal Protection

Domestic abuse is a serious crime and the law provides important protections for victims. The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 significantly strengthened the legal framework in England and Wales, broadening the definition of abuse, creating new criminal offences, and establishing new protective orders. If you are at risk of or experiencing domestic abuse, you can access legal protection quickly — often within 24 hours in genuine emergencies.

10 min

No-Fault Divorce

The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 fundamentally changed divorce law in England and Wales when it came into force in April 2022. For the first time, couples can end a marriage without having to allege fault — such as adultery or unreasonable behaviour — against each other. The process is now simpler, less adversarial, and can be completed jointly or by one spouse alone.

9 min

Child Arrangements Orders

A Child Arrangements Order (CAO) is a court order setting out the arrangements for where a child lives and how much time they spend with each parent or other person. They replaced the old residence and contact orders in 2014. The family court encourages parents to agree arrangements without court intervention, and before making an application you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) in most cases. The court's primary concern in every case is the welfare of the child.

10 min

Independent Sexual Violence and Domestic Violence Advisors (ISVAs and IDVAs)

Independent Sexual Violence Advisors (ISVAs) and Independent Domestic Violence Advisors (IDVAs) are free, independent, confidential support workers who guide victims through the criminal justice process and beyond. They are not part of the police, CPS, or social services — their loyalty is to the victim. This guide explains who they are, how to access them, and what they do.

9 min

Forced Marriage Protection Orders: How to Protect Yourself or Someone Else

Forced marriage is a serious crime under the Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014. Forced Marriage Protection Orders (FMPOs) under the Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007 give the family court power to make whatever order is needed to prevent a forced marriage — including stopping someone leaving the country, seizing passports, and excluding specific people from the home. This guide explains how to apply.

9 min

Disclaimer

This information is for general guidance only and does not constitute legal, financial, or professional advice. Always check official sources and seek qualified help where needed.