Do I have to go to mediation before applying to the family court?
Short answer
You must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, not mediation itself. It costs around £140 a person, is free on legal aid, and produces the Form FM1 the court requires. Domestic abuse, urgency and consent applications are among the exemptions.
Under the Family Procedure Rules a MIAM is required before most family court applications — child arrangements orders, prohibited steps and specific issue orders, financial orders after divorce, and Schedule 1 applications for children outside marriage. The point is to make sure people know what non-court options exist before they litigate, not to force anyone into mediation.
What actually happens
You attend on your own; your ex-partner has a separate meeting, with the same mediator or a different one. It lasts about 45 to 60 minutes with a mediator accredited by the Family Mediation Council, who will explain how mediation works, discuss your situation, carry out a domestic abuse screening for power imbalances that would make mediation unsafe, assess suitability, and set out the alternatives — mediation, collaborative law, arbitration and court — with their costs and timescales. Many mediators offer MIAMs by video call.
The standard cost is around £140 per person, roughly £120 to £160. If you qualify for legal aid it is free, and where one party is eligible the other party's MIAM may also be funded — check at gov.uk before booking. Afterwards the mediator signs Form FM1, which you attach to your application. Without it the court will not accept the application.
The exemptions
- Domestic abuse, including economic abuse and coercive control. Evidence can be a letter from a health professional, social worker or support organisation, a police caution, charge or conviction, a protective injunction, or confirmation of using a support service within the last 24 months.
- Urgency — a risk to life, liberty or safety that makes a MIAM impractical.
- Consent applications, where you simply need the court to approve an agreement.
- No accredited mediator within 15 miles, a previous MIAM or non-court resolution in the last four months, the other party failing to attend theirs, bankruptcy proceedings, or a child subject to child protection procedures.
Tick the exemption box on Form C100 or the financial application. Misusing an exemption is taken seriously by the courts.
If mediation does go ahead, sessions run 60 to 90 minutes at roughly £100 to £200 per person, and most cases resolve within three to five. Anything agreed should be turned into a consent order to become binding. If your ex refuses to attend their MIAM, the mediator records that and your application proceeds — but note that judges can now adjourn proceedings for non-court dispute resolution and take an unreasonable refusal into account on costs.
Related guides
Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM)
Before you can apply to the family court to resolve disputes about children, finances after separation, or other family matters, you must usually attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). The MIAM is a short meeting with a trained family mediator who explains what mediation involves and assesses whether it is suitable for your case. It is not mediation itself — it is an information-gathering step. The cost is typically around £140 per person, and legal aid may waive this entirely if you qualify.
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Child Arrangements Orders
A Child Arrangements Order (CAO) is a court order setting out the arrangements for where a child lives and how much time they spend with each parent or other person. They replaced the old residence and contact orders in 2014. The family court encourages parents to agree arrangements without court intervention, and before making an application you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) in most cases. The court's primary concern in every case is the welfare of the child.
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Consent Orders After Divorce
If you have reached a financial agreement with your former spouse after divorce, you should convert that agreement into a court-approved consent order. Without a court order, your financial claims remain open indefinitely — a former spouse could make a claim against you years or even decades later. A consent order provides legal finality.
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Financial Remedies on Divorce: Step by Step
Once you have started divorce proceedings, sorting out the finances is a separate process under the Family Procedure Rules (Part 9). It can be done by negotiation, mediation, or by formal application to the court for "financial remedies". This guide walks through the formal court process — Form A, Form E, the First Appointment, the Financial Dispute Resolution hearing, and the final hearing — and explains how the process works whether or not you reach agreement.
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More family questions
- At what age can a child choose which parent to live with?
- Do you need a solicitor to get divorced?
- What happens to the family home in a divorce?
- Do unmarried couples get legal rights after living together for years?
- Can I get half my spouse’s pension when we divorce?
- Does a father who is not on the birth certificate have parental responsibility?
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